Everyday at lunch, I gawked at the other kids’ brown paper bags and plastic lunch boxes. Daisy always had a box full of Ziplocked bags. One with a sandwich on white bread and another with orange wedges. David had the best lunch of all: LUNCHABLES! Customizable cracker sandwiches and a CapriSun! I had always begged my mom for one whenever we’d be in the refrigerated section at the supermarket, but she always said, “No! It’s too expensive!”
I was almost ashamed to take out my lunch. Instead of Ziplock bags, I had Tupperwares filled with leftovers from the previous night: rice and some type of ulam. I loved eating it at home, but not in front of my friends.
One day, my teacher sent me to the 8th grade classroom to heat up my lunch. Unfortunately, the only microwave in the school was in the 8th grade class. I hesitantly climbed to the second floor and walked into the room. I felt everyone’s eyes on me and I was terrified. A 1st grader in a room full of staring 8th graders? C’mon, wouldn’t you be scared? I walked straight to the teacher and handed her my red Tupperware. Before she proceeded to put it in the microwave, she lifted the lid and made the most disgusted look I have ever seen, and I knew why…
Longanisa and dinuguan.
By this time in the day, the sausages were cold and the dinuguan (or “chocolate meat” as Inang put it) had set up like gelatin. Without words, she expressed her displeasure with my food. I’m surprised I didn’t run out of the room sobbing. I mean, who gives their kid spicy pork sausages and pork blood stew for lunch?
Whenever I had another Tupperware lunch, I’d lie to my teacher and say I didn’t have lunch nor did I have money to buy anything from the cafeteria. I would steal a piece of ham from David and an orange wedge from Daisy. As the day went on, my stomach would be growling and I was starving.
I was rather upset with my family for making me take Filipino food to school. I wanted what everyone else had, so I persuaded my mom to give me money to buy microwaved bean burritos or chicken nuggets or turkey sandwiches on white bread. Soon, I was just like everyone else. Not just the chubby kid who ate blood for lunch.
Now…
I miss Inang making me lunch. I know I was a kid at the time, but deep down I knew it upset Inang when I came home with none of my food eaten. Ironically, the first thing I did when I got home was throw that Tupperware in the microwave and eat it anyway.
Back then, I guess I was a kid just wanting to fit in and be just like everyone else. I guess at the time, I didn't see how much effort was put into preparing my meal. Perfectly boiling the longanisa until they were tender and then browning them in their own fat. (Yum! Pork fat!) Or cutting up the pork meat in perfectly-sized cubes for the chocolate meat. Or washing and cooking the rice to the perfect doneness. Or perfectly portioning out the rice in the container and spooning the perfect amount of chocolate meat sauce over the rice and perfectly placing the sausages next to the rice. Or the way she neatly put the plastic container in the lunchbox with real silverware which she scolded me for if I ever lost them. Come to think of it, that was the most perfect lunch I could ever think of.
She didn't have to make lunch for me, but she did because she wanted to make sure her grandaughter had a good meal. Quite honestly, ham on crackers never satisfied me as much as a juicy longanisa with steamed rice.
Back then, I took for granted all the things Inang did for me thinking she would always be there. But now, I would give anything for just one more chance for Inang to make me another Tupperware lunch.
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