Yesterday, I sat in my Auntie Lolit's kitchen. I had a giant cup of pinapaitan and rice. Each bite I took sent a stinging burn from the heat and chili peppers. Each bite made me think of how things used to be - when I was child. When we were all children with no worries in sight.Auntie Lolit was in bed. Sleeping. She was breathing with the aid of an oxygen tube. Her chest rising and falling. It was easier for her to sleep than to be awake.
Our family had gathered at her house because she was losing her fight with her leukemia which had been diagnosed in 2008. Mother's Day. We knew she suffered since that day when she asked me, "what is chemotherapy?"
I work in the medical field in San Francisco. In oncology. Coming into this job, I knew it was going to be rough. I had to protect myself and wear a thick skin. I had to find a way not to get attached with my patients. If I didn't, I'd fail at my job.
But nothing prepares anyone when they find out the person they cherish has cancer. My Auntie Mina passed away due to breast cancer right before I turned 18. I wanted her to be at my debut so bad. She missed it by a couple of weeks. She came to my mind when I went in for my job interview. I can do this job. I can do this job and help people like my Auntie Mina. My heart broke when I heard the news Auntie Lolit had leukemia.
Auntie Lolit helped raise me since I was born. Momma went to work with her at the hotels near SFO cleaning rooms. I bet she was there at home waiting after Momma gave birth to me. A couple years after I was born, Auntie gave birth to my cousin Terri Star, who is more like a sister than a mere cousin to me. They have been an integral part of my life. Uncle Bill, Auntie's husband, would pick me up every Saturday to go to the Flea Market at the Cow Palace and then I'd sleep over Auntie's house where she'd make pot roast or our favorite: Hamburger Helper!
We shared so many memories in that kitchen. Terri and I would play with her brother's Super Nintendo and then run to the kitchen for some grub. Auntie Lolit always treated me like her own daughter.
So here we were in the kitchen again. The pinapaitan was made by her brother, Uncle Joe. It's delicious and hot and a reminder of our childhood. I grew up with this soup of beef bile, meat, and tripe. The list of ingredients are sickening to most but heaven to me. Inang used to make it all the time.
I couldn't help but think back on our memories and stories we made in that house. I see my year-old niece, Jayla running around and dancing to the sounds from the television. Auntie Lolit knew all of us cousins when we were that young. She was at all our birthdays and family parties. She watched all of us grow up. We also watched her grow with time.
It was getting late and we had to leave. I went to Auntie's room, held her hand, whispered, "Bye Auntie, I love you...", and kissed her goodbye.
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Auntie Lolit passed away at approximately 12:30 a.m. June 23, 2010 - 2 years and 1 month after her initial diagnosis.
She may be gone, but her spirit and her smile live in all of us. For that, I thank God for blessing us with such a beautiful and selfless woman.
Rest in Paradise, Lolita Boston Wong.
We love you and miss you already.
